If someone were to ask us what do we want for our children the most, most likely we would answer: I just want my child to be happy.
That is, at first, logical and expected answer. We do want our kids to be happy and content, and maybe we are one of those parents who want to provide to their kids all the things we did not had – be it a material thing or emotional support. Somewhere in the process of trying too hard we fail hard. As like most of the thing in parenting, if we want our kids to be truly happy there is no quick solution.
Raising kids take time, so does their development and ability to self-regulate. In order to be able to do so, kids need to experience a wide range of emotions and they need to learn how to sit in their discomfort. Managing unpleasant emotions is tricky, it takes practice and patience, and even adults have problem managing their emotions from time to time so we should not put pressure and expect our kids to be perfectly able to learn copying skills. Instead, we want to guide our kids to find a healthy way to cope with stress and life challenges. Making them happy all the time is creating unrealistic picture of the world around them and it is setting them for a failure. In addition, it is impossible to make our kids happy all the time simply because there is no such person who ever achieved that.
The good and the bad times are part of the life, how we cope and manage our thinking is what matters. Building resilience comes from a place of discomfort and the only way for kids to learn it and master it is by facing every day challenges. And helping them navigate through those times in one of the fundamental roles of parenting.